Encounters - Συναντήσεις ΙΙ

www.evakesselring.com

 

Payl Simon | Πωλ Σάιμον | 1941-

  

Μαρίκα Παπαγκίκα | Marika Papagkika | 1890-1943

Encounters - Συναντήσεις Ι

www.evakesselring.com

George Gershwin | Τζωρτζ Γκέρσουιν | 1898-1937

Μανώλης Χιώτης | Manolis Chiotis | 1921-1970

                               

Feels Like Home

Something in your eyes

Makes me wanna lose myself

Makes me wanna lose myself

In your arms.

There's something in your voice

Makes my heart beat fast

Hope this feeling lasts

The rest of my life.

If you knew how lonely my life has been

And how low I've felt for so long.

If you knew how I wanted someone to come along

And change my world the way you've done.

Feels like home to me

Feels like home to me

Feels like I'm all the way back

Where I come from.

Feels like home to me

Feels like home to me 

Feels like I'm all the way back

Where I belong.

A window breaks 

Down a long dark street

And a siren wails in the night.

But that's all right 

'Cause I have you here with me

And I can almost see

Through the dark there's light.

If you knew how much this moment means to me

And how long I've waited for your touch.

If you knew how happy you are making me.

Oh I never thought I'd love anyone so much.

Feels like home to me

Feels like home to me

Feels like I'm all the way back where I come from.

Feels like home to me

Feels like home to me

Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.

Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong.

- Randy Newman -

"Feels like I'm all the way back where I come from"

                    and yet I'm not and never can be.

"Feels like I'm all the way back where I belong"

                    and yet what'll keep us together, is being free.

"Feels like home to me"

                   means you feel like me to me, and it's so good to have you/me back...

Transformations

Thème du jour: the allure and terror of transformation. I use the term "du jour" in a scandalously broad sense, for in fact the topic has been a major player throughout my life thus far but more so in the last three years, give or take.

I seem to have spent more of my life exercising my transforming abilities than most. Role-playing games were  a staple of my younger brother David's and my seemingly endless afternoon hours, in our earlier childhood. And what roles they were! Larger than life, fantastic characters, donned with the earnestness and attention to detail that only children can muster and which the most gifted actors spend their entire existence striving to recapture. Later I remember discovering my capacity to simultaneously be the character while also consciously being my own spectator, a mesmerizing state to be in. This gradually became second nature to me, as I went from dancer to actress, to singer and performer. But these are, at the end of the day, just "games", right? Roles, played. Right?

Right. Until one day I caught one of these characters red-handed as it had insinuated itself in my "real" life. I happened to listen to a message I left on a friend's answering machine (remember those?) in the character's voice! I was shocked. I very soon decided that I couldn't be whatever character I was portraying at any given instance, 24/7. I felt that in doing so, I was running the serious peril of losing sight of the "real I", which after all was fuelling all these characters. So the character got neatly put away at the end of a rehearsal or performance, along with its costume, until our next encounter, at the next rehearsal or performance, and this has served me well.

Characters being what they are, imaginary persons in imaginary extraordinary situations (ordinary situations are notoriously bland when placed on a stage or screen), they tend to be wildly alluring but also in a sense frightening, if for no other reason than their intensity. Real life is by comparison tame and safe, like a cocoon. 

What of this tame, safe, spectator self? Is it a constant? 

Are we meant to exit this world (stage left) in the exact same state we entered it? No drama, no journey? No transformation? I should certainly hope not. Seems like an awful waste of life, to me.

And yet, how terrifying the prospect of change! For even in the will to change lies the tacit acknowledgement of our inadequacies. Even as we profess, in that endless esoteric debate (it's not just me, is it?) wanting to be "more this" or "less that", a part of us is also resisting these very desires because they are an admission of "not being enough this" and "being too much of that" while still strutting our stuff, thinking we're the swankiest thing to have graced this planet since the demise of the Rat Pack. So much for the tameness and safety of "real life". 

Change is frightening in that it will inevitably cause us to part ways with what is familiar. Old slippers may be tatty and coffee-stained and we wouldn't want to wear them on a hot date, but -boy!- are they comfy! But the real terror hasn't hit yet. Guess what? Change is inevitable. Everything, everything, changes constantly and we change right along with it all. You can't step into the same river twice (thanks for making my day, Heraclitus, I love you too!).

To make matters worse still, it would appear that this flux has been, gently at first, more forcibly later, accelerating. The river is no longer the lazy lazy river by the old mill run, and even the most nonchalant glance out the port-hole will tell you we're headed for the rapids. 

It transpires (and Charles, I know you're going to love this!) that a call for transformation is imminent. "Change or perish" roars the waterfall and the latter is rather the type of transformation that I, for one, would just as soon pass on.

Thus far, what was thought to be safe & comfy proved to be more hazardous than waltzing through a Cambodian mine field in floppy old slippers and Change went from being a half-assed New Year's Resolutions list first, to being an inevitable evil  not unlike the sagging of breasts and the recession of hairlines and then, in a truly majestic coup de théâtre, to being a no-nonsense, wake-up-and-smell-the-coffee necessity.

There you have it, and it's quite the challenge.

Change doesn't look half bad now, does it. And so the idea is finally dawning that transformation might actually be a pretty nifty thing. 

I am now again reminded of Peter Economidis' invitation to imagine the future, secure in the knowledge that we have the power to. Collectively and individually. It may well take a leap of faith, but it seems clear that leap we must. Leap I must. 

And leap I damn well will!

Frankly, the cocoon hasn't been a safe harbour in a very long time. Just a sad dark cramped closet. So I guess this would be a good time to remember my dancing days and my role-playing skills to jump-start myself and emerge a splendid, alluring, shimmering creature, in risky but sexy Manolos (no less!).

Eight days shy of my 44th birthday, I stand here today, stretching out my mind, flexing my heart and my unfolding wings to embrace a life-saving transformation with all the tightness of focus that my 7-year-old self once displayed so effortlessly.

Next trick will be to keep from getting pinned down.

Being Alive (Happy New Year!)

The magnificent rear end of the year most recently shown out the door thought it appropriate to leave a lasting impression on my psyche's retina. Had I been paying closer attention (instead of vaguely musing on the trivia of everyday blah) I'd like to think that I would have read the unmistakeable message of her lilting sashay, of the cryptic smile thrown in my direction over her weathered shoulder: "Brace yourself, lass! Things are about to get interesting."

She may have been a tramp, but true to form and despite her unnerving knack for understatement, she was no liar.

Certainly, I have had momentous encounters & have made life-changing choices in the past but never before did the realization of them hit me so swiftly. What followed was nothing less than breathtaking and I found myself being simultaneously swept by this electrifying sequence of events, thoughts & feelings and observing myself undergo this experience, as the mesmerized viewer of a high-end drama. 

I have been struggling for days to make sense of the upheaval that my encounter with you brought about. Had I been asked a few short weeks ago if I thought it a plausible string of events I most likely would have cracked a bitter-sweet smile that said "I should be so lucky". [And you would have dismissed the line with a quick "I don't believe in luck".]

I have no trouble remembering that first exchange almost verbatim, so profound an impact did it pack for me --- Why? It probably boils down to who & "where" we were at, of course. Also, I can no longer pretend to ignore the state of waiting I was in --- bursting at the seams (as you were very swift to read) with longing, my restlessness living just "under my skin".

Yearning for my focus to be pulled, to be engaged in a conversation that communicated something true, something of substance ---- finally to touch and be touched. And I did. And I was.

I now find myself wondering if I still have it in me to wait this out, as I have done in the past, earning myself the handle of "long distance runner". No longer in my first youth, do I have one last Marathon in me?

Even as I am writing this, another realization: in truth, there is no appropriate course of action to take, no choice to make, no right and no wrong to be done, for this is greater than both you and I.

I am reminded of that jewel of a scene in Casino Royale, when Woody Allen's character, Jimmy Bond is reluctantly led before an execution squad, breaking free over a wall defiantly shouting "so long, suckers!" only to land on the other side, at the feet of a prisoner as another squad opens fire.

To do this or that, now strikes me as futile as raising my forearms to protect myself from flying bullets or popping open my pink parasol against a tidal wave.

Therefore, be welcome, Wave!

You are, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the most annoying man to have crossed my path. You challenge me and arouse me. You hold me too close and you ruin my sleep. And as the brilliant Mr. Sondheim points out, you make me aware of being alive.

As we inescapably converge, I have but one more thing to say to you:

Thank you.

I love you.

Ok, so that's two things. So sue me!

Time To Imagine The Future

I still remember watching this video for the first time, a few weeks back. I recall the elation that leapt out of my notebook screen and swept over me. I immediately started posting and sharing and was amazed by the fervour and immediacy of the feedback. That same night I contacted Peter Economides via twitter and facebook, to congratulate him and let him know the impact his speech had had on me and those around me. And how I'd gladly lend my support to the spreading of this idea. 


You see, because of my father's work, I grew up at the heart of the then small enclosure that was Greek advertisement, in the 70s. 


A series of photographs of my then 9-year-old self, directed by my father and shot by Alexis Sofianopoulos resulted in an EOT poster, while another became the basis of an engraving that was to become a postage stamp. 

So a great deal of what Peter was touching upon struck a very familiar chord with me. But much more than that, it moved and inspired me. And I have good cause to believe these emotions are shared by a great number of people in this country and beyond.

A lot of comments were coming in,  asking that it be subtitled in Greek, so I asked Peter about it. A Greek friend of mine who is deaf, was asking the same thing. Peter said he was working towards that, but was somewhat swamped. So I offered to transcribe and translate his presentation for him. 

I spent the entire next day on the project, so you can imagine how many times I watched and listened! 

That was a few weeks ago.

Today, Peter uploaded the subtitled video and I watched it again.

And guess what? It got me by the gut, exactly as it had done the first time around!

I don't know much about brands or branding or -far less- branding strategies. But I do know a good song when I hear it. And this one here, is a classic. And a "keeper".

Please watch and, if you feel the same way about it as I and so many others by now do, help spread the word!

Enjoy!


PS: Thank you, Κύριε Οικονομίδη! 

Novender

Ο Νοέμβριος ήταν ανέκαθεν ο χειρότερός μου μήνας. Η -μονόπλευρη, απ όσο γνωρίζω- αντιπάθεια δεν σχετίζεται με την πτώση θερμοκρασίας ή την αύξηση των βροχοπτώσεων (είμαι κορίτσι παντός καιρού).

Σχετίζεται με την (κακή) ποιότητα και την (ανεπαρκή) ποσότητα του φωτός.
Ναι, ναι εννοώ αυτές τις λίγες ώρες γκρίζας φλαταδούρας για τις οποίες -συμπαθάτε με- δεν βλέπω τον λόγο να  σηκωθώ απ το κρεββάτι μου, frankly.

Επίσης είναι ο άγαρμπος εκείνος μήνας-κενό ανάμεσα στο πολυαγαπημένο Καλοκαίρι και εκείνες τις εβδομάδες του Δεκεμβρίου που κάθε χρόνο πεισματικά ελπίζω πως θα ζήσω τις γιορτές  που ονειρεύομαι.

Ε μετά, κοντοζυγώνουν τα γεννέθλια μου κατά τα τέλη Ιανουαρίου (τα επόμενα θα είναι 44α μου!) που πάντα τα γιορτάζω σαν  παιδί (για να είμαι εντελώς ειλικρινείς, δεν θυμάμαι πότε άκριβως άρχισε να εμφανίζεται και το μοτίβο "επέζησα έναν χρόνο ακόμα, φτού μου!" στο όλο κλίμα) και ετσι το πάω μετά, από γεννέθλια σε γεννέθλια αγαπημένων μου, σημαδούρες της αντοχής μου, μέχρι τον Μάιο.

Μετά είμαι home free, μέχρι τον επόμενο Νοέμβριο.

Και μη μου πείτε για τις χάρες του Χειμώνα, για σοκολάτες μπροστά στο τζάκι και σεξ στις φλοκάτες. Για όνομα! Πού τα βρήκατε, ήθελα να'ξερα!

Και για σένα που πετάχτηκες αμέσως να με πεις υπερβολική ("are you talking to moi??") να σε ενημερώσω πως οι πρώτες ώρες του μήνα με βρήκαν στα επείγοντα του νοσοκομείου Σωτηρία, μιας και είπε να με επισκεφθεί  -πάνω που έλεγα πως με ξέχασε η γρουσούζα- για 2η φορά αυτή η απαίσια ασθματική βρογχίτιδα, σήμα κατατεθέν την εξάντλησής μου.

Εντούτοις, το αίσθημα δικαίου με αναγκάζει να αναγνωρίσω και τα καλά. Τα φετινά, έστω. Δηλαδή τι καλά --- κάλλιστα!

Οι αγκαλιές των αγαπημένων μου φίλων με το που γύρισα στην Αθήνα, ακόμα και εκείνων που είναι crappy at hugs.
Τα χουρχουρχούρ και πατούμ-πατούμ του Καραμουζάκη και του Μπάφου.
Το τραπέζι-πατέντα που κατασκεύασε ο πατέρας μου και εγκατέστησε ο αδερφός μου στο μπαλκόνι μου, για να το βρω έτοιμο μόλις γυρίσω...
Τα μηνύματα για Happy Diwali.
Το πρώτο Παρασκευιάτικο απομεσήμερο στην Κληματαριά, με τον Τάσο, τον Παναγιώτη και τον Αντώνη.
Το diy ράφι του μπάνιου και οι μικρές χαρές maison et décoration.
Τα γέλια με τον Γιώργο που τώρα πια μένει στο "παλιό" μου σπίτι (και ποθεί το τωρινό μου).
Μεσημέρι στην πολυθρόνα του Σταμάτη και βραδάκι στον καναπέ μου, με την Νατάσα.
Η έκθεση σΕΞΑΡΣΗ στο Booze.
Η πρώτη πρόβα με απαρτία Μπλουζούκι! (εδώ σταθείτε -- είναι προάγγελος ΠΟΛΥ ωραίων πραγμάτων)
Το μαγικό massage του Γιάννη.
Το πρώτο μουσικό αφιέρωμα του Γαβρίλη (με την σειρά μου, το μοιράζομαι μαζί σας γιατί είναι έξοχο!)

Κι έτσι, με μια τόση δα μετατόπιση της οπτικής γωνίας, το novender γίνεται από τέλος, αρχή.

#clinic_concert

I made my Asian début a couple of hours ago, here at the NuTech Mediworld Lobby (New Delhi's Carnegie Hall or Wembley Arena if you will), to a packed house of very kind people who didn't complain once!

This was largely due to Louis Rowe, who did a super job of being sexy, playing the guitar and singing too!

It was great fun singing songs I hadn't performed in so many years, but all great tunes, such as Here Comes The Sun, Across The Universe (complete with "jai guru deva ohm"), Let It Be, (yes, The Beatles are a sure bet when putting together an express play-list!), Hotel California, Leaving On A Jet Plane and, of course, Georgia On My Mind, for our gorgeous & brave you-kn0w-who ;)

I usually sign the relevant logs of Georgia's shots & procedures a couple of times per day. The nurses (adorably called "sisters") have informed me that they will be marketing the autographs on e-bay as of tonight, so I guess we were a hit!

I'm assuming the next natural step is Bollywood.

Heartfelt thanks to Louis, Georgia and, last but by no means least, for making this possible, the fabulous Jyoti, wonder-woman problem-solver extraordinaire that she is!

Here's a clip, recorded by Georgia:

Thursday's Child

Monday's child is fair of face,
Tuesday's child is full of grace,
Wednesday's child is full of woe,
Thursday's child has far to go,
Friday's child is loving and giving,
Saturday's child works hard for his living,
And the child that is born on the Sabbath day
Is bonny and blithe, and good and gay.

---Nursery rhyme

Η Τζώρτζια κι εγώ είμαστε παιδιά της Πέμπτης. Κι έτσι η "γεννέθλια" μέρα , μας φέρθηκε με στοργή και προδέρμ!

Σηκωθήκαμε χαλαρά κατά τις 8μιση (φαίνεται πως αυτή η ώρα "κλείδωσε") και αρχίσαμε την προετοιμασία για την πρώτη "procedure" (ούτε το "διαδικασία" μου κάνει, ούτε το "επέμβαση" καθότι παραπέμπει σε νυστέρια, τα οποία δεν εμπλέκονται στο σενάριο."Πρωτόκολο" μήπως; Ουφφφφ... Decisions, decisions, decisions!), δηλαδή την πρώτη εντοπισμένη ένεση βλαστοκυττάρων, εν προκειμένω στην βάση της σπονδυλικής στήλης, στην ουρίτσα (εξού και "caudal"). Ένα τέταρτο της ώρας υπόθεση όλη κι όλη, αλλά μετά αυστηρά 2 ώρες ξάπλα ανάσκελα και ακινησία. Απ τις 2 το μεσημέρι και μετά, είμασταν ελεύθερες περιορισμών!

Η υπόλοιπη μέρα κύλησε σχετικά ήρεμα, μόνο οι καθιερομένες πιά χορηγήσεις αντιβιωτικών κτλ. Οι ρυθμοί χαλάρωσαν, πήραμε μια ανάσα :)

Στα μεγάλα wins της ημέρας, η εγκατάσταση ασύρματου router, που μας έλυσε τα χέρια (κυριολεκτικά) και πλέον συνδεόμαστε και τα δύο internet junkies ταυτόχρονα και μάλιστα απ την άνεση των κρεββατιών μας!

Το βράδυ η Τζώρτζια ανέπτυξε έναν μικρό σπαστικό βήχα.. Η πιθανές αιτίες είναι πολλές και οι συνδυασμοί τους ακόμα πιο πολλοί. Πιθανώς να είναι αντίδραση στην αντιβίωση ("herxing") ή, τόσες μέρες που μπαινοβγαίναμε από τους ζεστούς, υγρούς, αποπνικτικούς εξωτερικούς χώρους σε κλιματιζόμενα νοσοκομεία-ψυγεία, την άρπαξε. Την ταλαιπόρησε αρκετά ο βήχας, όποτε προσπαθούσε να μιλήσει, να φάει ή να πιεί. Η θερμοκρασία της όμως κανονικότατη. Το αναφέραμε στον γιατρό βάρδιας, και μας έφεραν οι νοσοκόμες ένα σιρόπι με γευση μπλιάχ, αλλά ήταν γενναία και κατάπιε την αηδία και μάλιστα χωρίς συνοδευτική κουταλιά ζάχαρης ;)

Χρειάστηκε να την αφήσω για λίγο μόνη στο δωμάτιο, καθότι με κάλεσε το καλλιτεχνικό μου καθήκον (μουσική υπόκρουση που υποδηλώνει βαρυσήμαντη αποκάλυψη εδώ, παρακαλώ) και το καθήκον, ως γνωστόν, δεν περιμένει!

ΤΕΛΟΣ ΕΠΕΙΣΟΔΙΟΥ

ΣΥΝΤΟΝΙΣΤΕΙΤΕ ΑΥΡΙΟ ΤΗΝ ΙΔΙΑ ΩΡΑ ΓΙΑ ΕΝΑ ΑΚΟΜΑ ΣΥΝΑΡΠΑΣΤΙΚΟ ΕΠΕΙΣΟΔΙΟ ΤΗΣ ΠΑΡΑΞΕΝΗΣ ΣΕΙΡΑΣ ΜΑΣ #openINDIA!

Ευγενική προσφορά του θαυματουργού ΚΑΘΙΚON / ΚΑΘΙΚOFF!

Come Wander With Me

Να! Έτσι τα νανουρίζουν τα κορίτσια, για να έχουν όνειρα σάμαλι...

He said come wander with me love
Come wander with me
Away from this sad world
Come wander with me

He came from the sunset
He came from the sea
He came from my sorrow
And can love only me...

Πάμε μωρή Mary Poppins αρρώστια!

Τελευταίο καθάρισμα στο "παλιό" σπίτι σήμερα και πρώτο de profundis στο "καινούργιο"!

I'll Be Home

For those of you who don't know it, we Greeks have a "have a good" wish for almost everything: the day, the week, the month, the season (more often for Summer & Winter), a sleep, a dawning... Perhaps it is quite a telling trait, of a People traditionally striving and forever wishing for the best.

So, καλό μήνα ("a good month") to us all!

The first of the month found me moving houses. In a previous, rather blues-afflicted post (don't click unless you can read Greek), I was contemplating the strange sadness involved in moving, even when the next dwelling is going to be a perfectly beautiful place, in the sense that I always feel I am leaving a part of me behind. It follows that A House Is Not A Home (beautifully sung by the amazing Luther Vandross) and it's really not about the walls or roof, it is about the life that took place within.

The thought that came over me today is that houses are never really homes. People are.

The people in our lives at any given point in time, the ones we turn to for the little and the big stuff, the ones we share our trials, tribulations, joys and laughs with. Those people are "home".

And so, my "moving blues funk" lifted.

Whether here or there, I will never be homeless, because of the people who care for me, shelter me, nurture me and generally see me through this complex business of living.

I can but hope that I, too, am "home" to others.

And so I leave you with this song for tonight. It is perhaps not for the sake of expediency that the little word "at" is missing ;)

INDIALUCIA - "Rumba"

Αυτό το κομμάτι επιλέγω για σημαία στο ταξίδι που έρχεται!

A House Is Not A Home

Για να το λέει ο Luther, έτσι θα είναι.

Και τότε γιατί αυτή η θλίψη; Γιατί αυτό το κενό σε κάθε μετακόμιση;

Αυτή είναι η 4η απ το 2004. Πέρα απ την φασαρία και την κόπωση της διαδικασίας, βρίσκω πάντα κάτι πολύ στενάχωρο σε αυτό το ξεσπίτωμα. Ακόμα και όταν το "καινούργιο" σπίτι είναι κούκλα, που συνήθως είναι.

Τώρα που το σκέφτομαι, στην πραγματικότητα δεν σχετίζεται με τα ίδια τα σπίτια. Έχει να κάνει με την ζωή που κύλησε μέσα τους. Κάθε φορά νιώθω ότι αφήνω κάτι από μένα πίσω μου, κλείνοντας την πόρτα και κλειδώνοντάς την για τελευταία φορά.

Είμαι και ομολογουμένως μεγάλο σπιτόγατο. Κι ας φεύγω αρκετά τάκτικα για πολύμηνα ταξίδια. Θέλω να ξέρω ότι τα λαστιχάκια που φύλαξα απ τα πακετάκια των από καταβολής τυριών (και ποτέ δεν θα μου χρησιμεύσουν) βρίσκονται στο συγκεκριμένο συρτάρι με τα μαχαιροπήρουνα, στην συγκεκριμένη κουζίνα, με το συγκεκριμένο φως.

Ο αυτοσχεδιασμός και το go with the flow ήταν, φύσει και θέσει, πάντα θεμελιώδης αρχή στην ζωή μου. Στην σκηνή, στις σχέσεις, στην δουλειά, στα οικονομικά.

Αλλά όχι στο κεραμίδι.

Δε βαριέσαι, moving blues είναι, θα περάσουν. Το λέει και η έκφραση άλλωστε.

So sing it for me one more time, Luther.